How Is It Supposed to Make Me Feel?

You broke me
Piece by piece I try to glue myself back
With this distance, my darling
It doesn’t bother me too much
It’s just the thought of you sometimes kills me inside
There is no hope you gave me
It’s just the memory from you sometimes rips my mind off from my body
Bring it back to my memory
You never feel the same
I know that
Somewhat I keep building future in my mind
Not my future…yours and mine…ours
I can’t pretend anymore
But I can pretend to pretend
That promise,
It never exists anymore
It’s gone as I start to kill the thought of you
I read your feeling
New feeling as you erase me from you
Again and again
If it’s the lightning that strikes me
Then let me faded
So that maybe I can let the same for you
How is it supposed to make me feel?

I Can Pretend

I can pretend as if you were here with me
I can pretend as if I just met you
I can pretend as if we were in the same place
I can pretend everyday
And I do
Ask me about my dreams
Even the shortest sleep I had was all about you
But I woke up and you were gone
It was almost as real as I wanted it to be
We don’t know each other anymore
You’re long gone to forget me
Yet I am here remembering everything again
Everyday again
It was those mornings I looked at the sky and imagined I was heading to see you
But how could it be possible when we’re oceans apart
Look at my hands here
They are famished for yours
Remember that thing?
That thing which is supposed to be in my finger
It was our promise to see each other again
But how could you remember
I am long gone now
Longer and longer
But I still can pretend everyday

My Voice Is Silence

It is me being in the middle
Being stared at
Being questioned to
Thinking to myself, “I don’t do this”
Who would have known?
Who would have realized?
I’m doing this myself
Maybe I could go on like this by myself
I could be filled with enjoyment
I just don’t have to speak up
I’ll keep myself in the blank
Being invisible and not to be let known
That is what I do
I see a lot through the reflection of my eyes
I know how to feel I don’t have to touch
I know how to respond I don’t have to make a voice
Because
My voice is silence

This Is My Guilt

So this is it
Time to come
I have been expecting for
You were invisible or I wished you had been
That was it
This is now
You are back to my memory
Remembering all over again about us
Nothing has ever come between us
Till now that my mind has taken control all my body
My mind, my feelings
All empty worthless actions to do
I wanted to lose you
To hell with what I wanted cause now is time to come back
Thought that was gonna be it
But here I am
Crawling back to you
And here I am
Proving this is my guilt

Love Letter

My heart speaks for no one
And then you
My heart speaks for everything for you
My heart not your heart
It’s longing for you
Just you and no one
No rules no games
Just love is there to feel
Carving piece by piece of my heart with your name
Painting every corner of my eyes with your face
Feeling it all over again with the touch of your hand
It’s a bliss that can’t be broken
It’s a smile that can’t be torn
Spare me out the pain later when I’m done

It’s just a love letter for you
Just a way of showing I miss you
Just a way of showing I love you
Just a way of showing
I’m in pain waiting for indefinitely

Why Go Through This

There’s every side of human
There will be the time
When everything seems so right yet so wrong
It goes well according to plan
Going through this way in this exact time
Then there it is
The stony road that makes you wonder about your next step
It’s not just the stone
It’s your shield you use to cover
Somehow you keep on going when you know you have to stop
Just going on barefoot and let everyone sees
A couple more steps and you reach there
Buying a new shield to cover again
But again, there’s no enough asset in your pocket to cover everything you want
You need extra shield and your objective
It’s just never enough
At this point making an option is the way
But you have to have everything
So just take what’s enough you can take
Eventhough it’s not the best
Eventhough it’s not what you’ve been dreaming of
Just wanna grab them and leave
Then finally you reach there
There, some where safe and you know everything will be okay started from there
And you begin to wonder again
Why go through this???

People I Know

Someone whom I thought I knew
Someone who always tries to satisfy others but not to self
Seeing it deeper then it’s a haze
Trying to catch it and I did
Holding up to it and I lost it
Wishing it to come back and I failed
So I let go till the regret comes
Someone who is growing to learn how to love
My first person I can call friend
Having the same way of thinking
Can’t lose it but time will tell
Someone who’s always in a mess over life drama
Trying to keep up with it eventhough it’s tiring just a moment
Give it a cheer but it never sees
Being with it for all the moments
Hoping it will be ready when I’m gone
Someone who lives in the comfort of egotism
Giving my best to understand what’s behind
Being different in acceptance because I know better
Getting myself cursed because I know the difference
Liking it more than enough because it doesn’t fade and be still
Someone who has the standard of being normal
Being carried around by person to me
So I guess it was fate
Didn’t know it much but know it enough
Someone who recognizes the craziness in me
Would be my first person having real conversation
Hanging around with it less
But somehow we both know that we can be closer
Someone who is lost in the world of kids and now-age
Not really close with it
Until the last minute,
Getting closer and know it better
These are the people I know
These are my friends