Die and Die

Oh how I wish they would turn to dust
To become nothing but creepy crawlers
Like animals waiting for their slaughter
Crawl all the way to the path of hell
Crawl all the way on sharp edges knives
With palms wide opened
Moving every bit of their bodies in slow motion
And just slit them opened
Till the last bite of their fleshes
And become one
On crumbling earth
The world to become mass of blood
Clearing every clean spot
Marking every sign with its colour
With the sun burning their eyes
Till they see nothing more
And I will be standing
To be the one who watches
With glory and victory in my hands
With eyes wider than ever
With smile happier than ever
And I will be the one captures each second of their fear
I will be flying
With my wings fluttered gracefully
To watch every single of them die
Die and die in pain and suffer
Just die and leave me without noone

My Own Blood

It’s raining tonight
The sky cried for its unquiet sound
And the smoke smells for its bittersweet taste
And I am colder than ever
Taking the wind as it frosts my leftover flesh
So I’m heating up my bone
Then I’m feeling in my blood
As it drips down
I’m catching it with my own hand
Every drop of every last drip
Seeing the colour of red
As it’s getting darker and darker
And lighter and lighter
Till the moment I perish
I’m covered with my own blood
Tasting my own true blood

And Then

And then I cry
In this seat by the window
In front of a stranger
Next to a sleeping angel
And then I hear
Voices from the past
Voices of demons greeting my fear
And then I fall
Deep into the sound of agony
Sinking to the bottomless pit of craziness
And I’m derelict
From the outside world I know
Meeting my demons
Accepting their greetings
As I crush them into my bone
Become one with my blood
Then I sleep
And then I die

Place to Rest

Have you ever seen the sky this blue
Like one of those colours in cartoon movie
Have you ever smelled the grass this fresh
Like one of those imaginations from a perfect world
Have you ever been so sick of human
You just want to be left alone
Have you ever been so tired of mandatory battle
You just don’t care anymore
I want to be left alone
I don’t care anymore
But I do when you appear
You are the button to press when I’m shutting down
Even just a slender semblance of you
Even just a tiny little glance to make me smile
Even just for a second wake-up call
You are a place to rest

Welcome You

I’ve had good experiences
They’re all gone
I’ve had good fantasies
They’re just come and now they’re gone
I’m putting my body to rest
This sound comes catching my breath
Giving the heat to my body as I haul the blanket away
It’s still heat I’m feeling
My fantasies are completely gone now
Left me with my worst imagination
Trying to make contact with the cold weather
But the heat effaces my body
Let me rest now
As I welcome you again
My beloved never ending
nightmare

Dedication to My Nightmare

Once I was a sailor
I sailed away my boat
Down to rest and left the dock again
Once I was a painter
I painted the beauty of sunrise
Put some colours on and threw it all away
Once I was a hero
I served with naivety
Smiled through my way of freedom
And cried on my way home
But now I’m just a writer
With broken fingers I write broken words
Spelling letters to words
Words to sentences
I write till the end
I write till I stop
I write as a dedication to my nightmare

Dare I Say

A year from previous eight months
Not a single second can tell
Fifty years from now
No fate can speak up its mind for our existence
I’ve been dying from the moment I crave your scent
Right up till now
You are my forever and unforgotten
Sometimes, just sometimes
Everything I wish for is only a slight of you
But never once your story is about me
I’m dreaming awake
Dreaming to miss you
Dreaming to grasp a second moment of you beings
For this moment of truth
For this moment of flashback
For this moment of desperation
Dare I say
I’ve been missing you for so long

Favourite Doll

Let’s play a game
Tell me all the rules
And I let you win
I’m following your lead
So guide me right with your detriment
I will watch you doing your victory dance
While I’m lying here in exhaustion
With my eyes opened
With my brain straightened up
As I start remembering every length of your words
As I begin to drop a tear
Then I’ll be crawling to you on icy ground
Just to feel the coldness rising to my brain
Then I begin to numb
For my boneless spirit is all there is
And I’m down to be your favourite doll

Happy Birthday to me (15th July)

Another year I claim of total difference
A melancholy over forceful tears
There comes the exhaustion in me
But nothing more than excitement rushing
I like it for the day
Exception for a great companionship
Forget about tomorrow and stand tall from tediousness
Forget about numbers and stand up taller
I’ve had the worst
And waiting for the best
I’m having my best
For the rest of my memories
Finally I’m having my best
On this birthday
For a great companionship