Why Go Through This

There’s every side of human
There will be the time
When everything seems so right yet so wrong
It goes well according to plan
Going through this way in this exact time
Then there it is
The stony road that makes you wonder about your next step
It’s not just the stone
It’s your shield you use to cover
Somehow you keep on going when you know you have to stop
Just going on barefoot and let everyone sees
A couple more steps and you reach there
Buying a new shield to cover again
But again, there’s no enough asset in your pocket to cover everything you want
You need extra shield and your objective
It’s just never enough
At this point making an option is the way
But you have to have everything
So just take what’s enough you can take
Eventhough it’s not the best
Eventhough it’s not what you’ve been dreaming of
Just wanna grab them and leave
Then finally you reach there
There, some where safe and you know everything will be okay started from there
And you begin to wonder again
Why go through this???

People I Know

Someone whom I thought I knew
Someone who always tries to satisfy others but not to self
Seeing it deeper then it’s a haze
Trying to catch it and I did
Holding up to it and I lost it
Wishing it to come back and I failed
So I let go till the regret comes
Someone who is growing to learn how to love
My first person I can call friend
Having the same way of thinking
Can’t lose it but time will tell
Someone who’s always in a mess over life drama
Trying to keep up with it eventhough it’s tiring just a moment
Give it a cheer but it never sees
Being with it for all the moments
Hoping it will be ready when I’m gone
Someone who lives in the comfort of egotism
Giving my best to understand what’s behind
Being different in acceptance because I know better
Getting myself cursed because I know the difference
Liking it more than enough because it doesn’t fade and be still
Someone who has the standard of being normal
Being carried around by person to me
So I guess it was fate
Didn’t know it much but know it enough
Someone who recognizes the craziness in me
Would be my first person having real conversation
Hanging around with it less
But somehow we both know that we can be closer
Someone who is lost in the world of kids and now-age
Not really close with it
Until the last minute,
Getting closer and know it better
These are the people I know
These are my friends

Even If I Say This

I left my words being kept in my thoughts
Putting it all in a cage so it will be secured from you
Taming myself to absorb steadiness
Then I realize
I still want to be in this fight
I still want to be part of it
Just a few more moments
I promise I won’t be long
Let me fight
And let me through
Not with my words
But with your heart
Don’t ask me what you should do
Because I’m still in my consciousness not to be selfish
I want to be selfish
But I want it your way
Spare me the reverse questions
And let me let you leading the way
But if this silence keeps surrounding us
Then I’ve got nothing left to lose
Even if I say this

Why Bother

Why desperate to grab all the questions
If lies are all given out
Why wanting all the attentions
If nothing is all wanted to be heard
Why showing, crying, depressing
If self defense is the only one thing that couldn’t be done
Why letting people take control over life
If blaming and cursing is the best fight that could be given
Why blaming, cursing
If being hurt is to be felt at last
Why still pretending, acting
If bad scenario ending has been bared in mind
Why not being blind
If you can choose to see with heart
Why bother?
Some say it is love
Some say it is stupid
I’ll say…why bother?

Final Examination

Change all those routines
Just for this day
Making self to rest
Obscurity is waiting to be lighted up
Here comes the sun light
Brings up the mood back to mind
I’m awake
It’s just the tense that bothers me
Change this frame of mind
Just another compulsory motion to do
Take a few steps back from those creatures
Ambitious living creature is what I call them
Too hard of trying
Too easy for messing up
There comes the thought(s)
What are they doing that for?
What are they trying to proof?
Where will they bring it later?
Can plates and all the equipments be put inside the grave?
Maybe they won’t feel so lonely after all
Ask me if they are any good
I might know one perfect word to answer
It’s just my ego
Comparing to their egos
For this time
For this final examination

Just another Life

It’s okay if it has to end
There’s nothing to remember
Nothing to be sad for
I’m leaving for good
Leaving for a new phase
Jumping to a fresh start
This excitement and scared feelings
What do they call that?
Then there are the what-if’s start bugging
What about them?
What about it?
It’s not the impact I bring to them
It’s just a human form of saying goodbye
Showing the frown on their faces
Letting out the heartbreaking words
It’s just for a moment
Life goes on
And it’s just another life to end
It’s just another life to start

Sorry For This

This will not be easy
There comes the sarcastic and ignorant you
Just a simple greeting
Takes me hours just to respond back
I come in peace
Thought it would be a different way for us
Think I am wrong
Me with the demands and complications I bring you
You with the ignorant and so-called understand me
We are in different pace now
You can’t be beside me
Maybe it’s me too fast
Maybe it’s me too slow
Or maybe it’s you do not want to be beside me
Thought we were one
But you’re just being unaware
Put me down from you
That way is the best for me to recover from all these hassle
Just for you to wait
Not for you to leave me
I’m sorry for this silence I’m giving you
Doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you
Or maybe I am
Offer me some time to take back all my wishes from you
Wait for me showing guilt to you
Then maybe we can be usual again
Me with the curiosity and excitement towards you
You with the awareness of me

So This Is Goodbye

Waiting for that moment to come
The moment is here
It’s not later or then…it’s now
What makes the difference?
This is what things will be from now on
There were you
There are no you
There will be no you
What if there was never me?
What if there will never me?
What could make the difference?
Begging for the word ‘special’
That was easy
Begging for the admittance
That was not easy
Feel this
Just a moment longer
Just a single breath taking
You’ll be gone forever
I’ll be gone forever
So this is goodbye