Whenever Wherever Whatever

I have come to love you
And let this be the time I leave
You have become the blood in my vein
And let this be a knife for your escape
Fear not for you as it is for me
I fear myself to let this heart beats the way it shouldn’t
I fear myself to have delivered demons in me
So let me stay in my solitude
Not pointing my mind on you
And I promise you my memory from your tormented soul
I promise you my heart as any time you wish to have it
I promise you me
Whenever wherever whatever

Accept My Glee

I’m trying to cheer you up
But I’m sorry for I do not know how
I’m not funny or hilarious
Amusing does not seem to be the words I can use to draw a smiley on your face
For I am sad and anxious just like you
But hear me say this
Look at the clouds in the sky, sometimes they make cute patterns
Cute enough to put a smile on your crying heart
Maybe I can sing for you
Maybe I can dance with you
Or maybe I can write this for you
But what do I know
I’m just as sad and anxious as you
I’m sorry for I’ve failed this
Maybe you could put your misery in me
Let me cure it and I’ll return it back to you
I’ll be the one who suffers
And please accept my glee as a gift for you
I may make it sounds so silly
But you are too my joy
I can’t let agony is the only place you can stay in
So please,
Accept my glee for you

Goodbye to You

It is finally figured out
Wouldn’t be a dilemma for me anymore
Real or surreal, it stays as a memoir to me anyway
I’m not sad
I’m not anxious
Just disappointment waiting for me to let it in
Maybe I could just keep my door’s locked and I’ll be fine
Maybe I could just stay numb like I’m always determined to be
I’m not fine
I’m not alright
But I’m stable with myself
I’m controlling my feet to move forward no matter how hard
No matter how those nails are ready to be pointed at me
At least I’m not falling
I’m just bleeding with holes
Bleeding and keep on walking
Leaving my blood behind as I’m recovered…again and again
It's not even started yet
It’s not your fault to blame
But it is a goodbye to you

How Do You Know?

It feels like ages
Having this numbness as my profitable friend
But not so numb anymore
How can you tell?
When a picture comes to mind, is that how?
When a heart beats faster till you can hear it even in crowded room, is that how?
My oblivion comes knocking on me
Offers me a contradictory
I would say I accept it
But how can I, if it’s not seen by my own eyes?
How can I, if it’s not heard by my own ears?
My belief…feeling is my massive treasure
My feeling…has been a numbness to my brain
I fall and stand up again with my own two feet
I have recovered and choosing the solid form of my thoughts
So when it happens,
How do you know again?

Stranger to Love

It is more than that
Choosing you among the faces I see
Reading your misery as part of my greatest adventure
It is more than leaving messages through your inbox
It is more than questions to ask
We may be surreal to each other
But what is real accompanied by pain and sadness
I’m not going to state you’re my friend
Coz what is friend to call without names in mind
I can feel your gloomy world
Trust me I can
But don’t say I’m them
Coz I’m not
Neither are you
See me through a big bright wall
I’m not transparent
But you can always feel I’m shining your eyes through my colour
I can’t be your summer in winter
I can’t be your reason to want to stay in this filthy world
But if it is ever too late
I just wanna say
We might be strangers to each other
But you’re my stranger to love
Please be alive until reality is ours

How Did I Get Here?

It was months ago I pulled myself away from the big black hole
Nothing more than a relief for my breath
It was weeks ago the shiniest sunshine brightened my dark sight
Everything was back in perfect straight line
It was minutes ago I heard steps of evil rushing back to me again
Anything can happen to me any minute
It was moments ago I freed my soul
And now I’m huddled back to the mass of dust
It was afternoon when I gasped clean air
Feeling lighter than ever
It is now night time when I try to haul away a sightless mass of rocks
How did I get here?

Lost Soul

You might call me typical
I’m a girl with a broken soul
Take me for granted all you want
I will be the nicest thing you’ve ever seen
Not the confidence that tells me
Just my shattered heart brings me to death
Bring me wherever I’ll be your whatever
Not my stupidity that ratifies me
Just my awareness carries me to hell
I want to be them
I want to be you
I want to be me
Once again, take me with you
Take my broken soul and shattered heart with you
I will show you how to live as one soul
I can drag myself along the way with you
And you can leave me restless by myself
There will be no grudge
There will be no vengeance
Just me trying to find my lost soul