How Did I Get Here?

It was months ago I pulled myself away from the big black hole
Nothing more than a relief for my breath
It was weeks ago the shiniest sunshine brightened my dark sight
Everything was back in perfect straight line
It was minutes ago I heard steps of evil rushing back to me again
Anything can happen to me any minute
It was moments ago I freed my soul
And now I’m huddled back to the mass of dust
It was afternoon when I gasped clean air
Feeling lighter than ever
It is now night time when I try to haul away a sightless mass of rocks
How did I get here?

Lost Soul

You might call me typical
I’m a girl with a broken soul
Take me for granted all you want
I will be the nicest thing you’ve ever seen
Not the confidence that tells me
Just my shattered heart brings me to death
Bring me wherever I’ll be your whatever
Not my stupidity that ratifies me
Just my awareness carries me to hell
I want to be them
I want to be you
I want to be me
Once again, take me with you
Take my broken soul and shattered heart with you
I will show you how to live as one soul
I can drag myself along the way with you
And you can leave me restless by myself
There will be no grudge
There will be no vengeance
Just me trying to find my lost soul

Allow Me

Let’s not talk about me
There is the first for everything
There is the first of my fear
Nervousness for I cannot be in the place I should be
Breaking to the point of rules
Showing an absence for my appearance
I miss the whole charismatic person inside
Forget that moment
Just bring in the new one as a refreshment of my day
Not to say I reject calling the consciousness in me
For I have pulled myself out of bed in a perfect time
Let’s not put the blame on me
But allow me to ask your forgiveness
For I have stopped the words coming from your heart
Allow me to ask your forgiveness
For I want to put my ears back where I have missed
The moment I first step in
Placing my body in a proper position
The moment I do not start to hear but to listen
Not with my ears but my heart
Feel it the sun brightens as it is breaking the dusk in me
Stop that moment for I know I have seen the white in my black
From then until now some urge still comes rushing in
As I do not want to prove my shyness
As I do not want to prove my disability in giving you my voice
But once more
Allow me to ask for your mercy as it is all I can proof to you
As for your mighty heart
Allow me to say thank you for breaking the silence in me
Allow me to say thank you for melting my morning frown into laughs
Allow me to say thank you for keeping my ears down to my heart
Allow me…

My Imaginary Friend

Say hello to the wind passing through my eyes
Say hello to voiceless sound running through my ears
Say hello to the untouchable touching my skin
Becoming the best unknown space I’ve ever had
Crossing the line of reality and dreamless dream
For I cannot stand the loneliness I have had
It is me making the effort of creating something new
Someone to share all the complications
Someone to respond to all the anxiety
Call me sick for I want so
Label my name with eccentricity for I wish to
As I can breathe normally
As I can talk commonly
For no one knows who you are
For you
Say hello to my imaginary friend

How Is It Supposed to Make Me Feel?

You broke me
Piece by piece I try to glue myself back
With this distance, my darling
It doesn’t bother me too much
It’s just the thought of you sometimes kills me inside
There is no hope you gave me
It’s just the memory from you sometimes rips my mind off from my body
Bring it back to my memory
You never feel the same
I know that
Somewhat I keep building future in my mind
Not my future…yours and mine…ours
I can’t pretend anymore
But I can pretend to pretend
That promise,
It never exists anymore
It’s gone as I start to kill the thought of you
I read your feeling
New feeling as you erase me from you
Again and again
If it’s the lightning that strikes me
Then let me faded
So that maybe I can let the same for you
How is it supposed to make me feel?

I Can Pretend

I can pretend as if you were here with me
I can pretend as if I just met you
I can pretend as if we were in the same place
I can pretend everyday
And I do
Ask me about my dreams
Even the shortest sleep I had was all about you
But I woke up and you were gone
It was almost as real as I wanted it to be
We don’t know each other anymore
You’re long gone to forget me
Yet I am here remembering everything again
Everyday again
It was those mornings I looked at the sky and imagined I was heading to see you
But how could it be possible when we’re oceans apart
Look at my hands here
They are famished for yours
Remember that thing?
That thing which is supposed to be in my finger
It was our promise to see each other again
But how could you remember
I am long gone now
Longer and longer
But I still can pretend everyday

My Voice Is Silence

It is me being in the middle
Being stared at
Being questioned to
Thinking to myself, “I don’t do this”
Who would have known?
Who would have realized?
I’m doing this myself
Maybe I could go on like this by myself
I could be filled with enjoyment
I just don’t have to speak up
I’ll keep myself in the blank
Being invisible and not to be let known
That is what I do
I see a lot through the reflection of my eyes
I know how to feel I don’t have to touch
I know how to respond I don’t have to make a voice
Because
My voice is silence