Allow Me

Let’s not talk about me
There is the first for everything
There is the first of my fear
Nervousness for I cannot be in the place I should be
Breaking to the point of rules
Showing an absence for my appearance
I miss the whole charismatic person inside
Forget that moment
Just bring in the new one as a refreshment of my day
Not to say I reject calling the consciousness in me
For I have pulled myself out of bed in a perfect time
Let’s not put the blame on me
But allow me to ask your forgiveness
For I have stopped the words coming from your heart
Allow me to ask your forgiveness
For I want to put my ears back where I have missed
The moment I first step in
Placing my body in a proper position
The moment I do not start to hear but to listen
Not with my ears but my heart
Feel it the sun brightens as it is breaking the dusk in me
Stop that moment for I know I have seen the white in my black
From then until now some urge still comes rushing in
As I do not want to prove my shyness
As I do not want to prove my disability in giving you my voice
But once more
Allow me to ask for your mercy as it is all I can proof to you
As for your mighty heart
Allow me to say thank you for breaking the silence in me
Allow me to say thank you for melting my morning frown into laughs
Allow me to say thank you for keeping my ears down to my heart
Allow me…

My Imaginary Friend

Say hello to the wind passing through my eyes
Say hello to voiceless sound running through my ears
Say hello to the untouchable touching my skin
Becoming the best unknown space I’ve ever had
Crossing the line of reality and dreamless dream
For I cannot stand the loneliness I have had
It is me making the effort of creating something new
Someone to share all the complications
Someone to respond to all the anxiety
Call me sick for I want so
Label my name with eccentricity for I wish to
As I can breathe normally
As I can talk commonly
For no one knows who you are
For you
Say hello to my imaginary friend

How Is It Supposed to Make Me Feel?

You broke me
Piece by piece I try to glue myself back
With this distance, my darling
It doesn’t bother me too much
It’s just the thought of you sometimes kills me inside
There is no hope you gave me
It’s just the memory from you sometimes rips my mind off from my body
Bring it back to my memory
You never feel the same
I know that
Somewhat I keep building future in my mind
Not my future…yours and mine…ours
I can’t pretend anymore
But I can pretend to pretend
That promise,
It never exists anymore
It’s gone as I start to kill the thought of you
I read your feeling
New feeling as you erase me from you
Again and again
If it’s the lightning that strikes me
Then let me faded
So that maybe I can let the same for you
How is it supposed to make me feel?

I Can Pretend

I can pretend as if you were here with me
I can pretend as if I just met you
I can pretend as if we were in the same place
I can pretend everyday
And I do
Ask me about my dreams
Even the shortest sleep I had was all about you
But I woke up and you were gone
It was almost as real as I wanted it to be
We don’t know each other anymore
You’re long gone to forget me
Yet I am here remembering everything again
Everyday again
It was those mornings I looked at the sky and imagined I was heading to see you
But how could it be possible when we’re oceans apart
Look at my hands here
They are famished for yours
Remember that thing?
That thing which is supposed to be in my finger
It was our promise to see each other again
But how could you remember
I am long gone now
Longer and longer
But I still can pretend everyday

My Voice Is Silence

It is me being in the middle
Being stared at
Being questioned to
Thinking to myself, “I don’t do this”
Who would have known?
Who would have realized?
I’m doing this myself
Maybe I could go on like this by myself
I could be filled with enjoyment
I just don’t have to speak up
I’ll keep myself in the blank
Being invisible and not to be let known
That is what I do
I see a lot through the reflection of my eyes
I know how to feel I don’t have to touch
I know how to respond I don’t have to make a voice
Because
My voice is silence

This Is My Guilt

So this is it
Time to come
I have been expecting for
You were invisible or I wished you had been
That was it
This is now
You are back to my memory
Remembering all over again about us
Nothing has ever come between us
Till now that my mind has taken control all my body
My mind, my feelings
All empty worthless actions to do
I wanted to lose you
To hell with what I wanted cause now is time to come back
Thought that was gonna be it
But here I am
Crawling back to you
And here I am
Proving this is my guilt

Love Letter

My heart speaks for no one
And then you
My heart speaks for everything for you
My heart not your heart
It’s longing for you
Just you and no one
No rules no games
Just love is there to feel
Carving piece by piece of my heart with your name
Painting every corner of my eyes with your face
Feeling it all over again with the touch of your hand
It’s a bliss that can’t be broken
It’s a smile that can’t be torn
Spare me out the pain later when I’m done

It’s just a love letter for you
Just a way of showing I miss you
Just a way of showing I love you
Just a way of showing
I’m in pain waiting for indefinitely